Sunday, 23 October 2016

6 Ridonculous TV Shows That Need To Exist


When there's nothing decent to watch on a Friday afternoon.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good TV, must be in want of new shows. And I am privy to the disappointment such a man shares when faced with the drab selection of lackluster programmes. But gone are the bleak and dreary days of endless and unrewarding channel surfing. Here is the future of entertainment.

1. Juvenile Delinquents: Age 4 and 3/4

A 12 part BBC Two documentary following the lives of ten four year olds as they navigate their way through their first year of incarceration. Follow as they undergo the hardships of a harsh and brutal prison environment with only one sugar free juice box a week. Critically acclaimed for its raw and unrefined portrayal of youth crime, Juvenile Delinquents refuses to tiptoe around the truth. An unprecedented look into the lives of the smallest, most dangerous members of society. Rated five gurgles and two thumbs up by toddlers everywhere.

2. Get Wretched

A one off, two hour special in which Jay-Z and Kanye West compete to turn Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream into a 3 minute chart topper. Following each star over the course of one hectic week in November as they juggle their daily struggles and compete to win the title of Shakespearean G 2k16, learn what it truly means to be a rapper in the 21st century. An awe inspiring, emotional journey of perseverance and will power told through spoken word. Including Drake's brilliant first performance of his brand new song, A Dagger I See Before Me.

3.Promotion Or Die

In which 7 brave thirty-somethings compete strenuously against one another to win the promotion of a lifetime. Who will answer the most phone calls whilst submerged in the middle of a shark infested ocean? 7 ordinary receptionists. One shark infested ocean. A once in a lifetime opportunity. Who will win and who will die? Coming this December. A TLC reality show that puts Big Brother to shame. 


4. The Black Cat Gang

A show following the covert observation of a group of Mafia owned black cats as they roam the streets of New York. A dangerous and breathtaking adventure into the multi-million dollar underground tuna trade and the lives of the most prominent feline gang members. A spectacular programme delving deep into the family dynamics of each black cat member, uncovering the strain of criminal activity on each clowder and cat society as a whole.

5. A Creature Of Habit

A longitudinal televised study following 4 young boys as they make the transition from teens to adults whilst separated from their identical twin counter parts. Watch and take part in this interactive ITV series as they grow and become self reliant members of society. We find out to what extent nurture plays in a person's development. 

6. Bonquisha, and what?

A 10 part satirical comedy, finally putting to bed why you can't touch a black girl's hair.
A 13 year old sarcastic and brave Bonquisha takes on the world, educating others on the dangers of self entitlement, overgrown egos and ignorance. Stripping the world, one episode at a time, of douchecanoes, sensless goats and uneducated swines.

Which of these 6 would you most like to watch?