Tuesday, 28 July 2015


Hola amigos, recently I was tagged by the fabulous M at The Life Of Little Me to complete the TMI Tag. I did exactly that and here are my answers.

1) What are you wearing?
Pajamas, even though I woke up 3 to 4 hours ago.

2) Have you ever been in love?
Do you consider a complete and utter infatuation with youtubers and viners love? If so, then yes.

My boo

3) Have you ever had a terrible breakup?
So many times guys. It's just so ridiculous that it's practically a lie.

4) How tall are you?
Not tall enough.

5) How much do you weigh?
The approximate equivalent to 10 Oriental small-clawed otters.

6) Any tattoos?
765 to be exact.

7) Any piercings?
Just my ears.

8) OTP?
HOMOZYGOUS???!!!!! I panicked. I really don't know.

9) What is your favourite show?
Melissa and Joey.

10) Who are your favourite bands?
I don't have a favourite band but my favourite artist is Shawn Mendes.

11) Something you miss?
Being younger and not having to worry about how to convert metric and imperial units or how geographic isolation can cause variation in a species.

12) Favourite song?
I have two.

Shawn Mendes for lifeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

13) How old are you?
13 and 7 months, Just in case you wanted specifics.

14) Zodiac sign?
Caprisassyues ( Capri-sassy-us)
Okay so I'm a Capricorn, but can we agree that Capricsassyues sounds WAY better?

15) Quality you look for in a partner?
A great ability to make up random phrases in the spur of the moment.

16) What is your favorite quote?
"In the end we only regret the chances we didn't take."

17) Who is your favorite actor?
I don't watch a lot of movies but i'd have to say Shailene Woodley.

18) Favorite colour?
Blue probably, although it changes quite often.

19) Loud music or soft?
TURTLES!!! I panicked again. I think I like a little bit of both, you know, soft- ish but not loud enough that it'll cause me hearing loss.

20) Where do you go when your sad?
Away from humans.

21) How long does it take you to shower?
Probably about 15 minutes.

22) How long does it take for you to get ready in the morning?
About an hour. The actual getting ready part takes around 40 minutes at a normal place. I just like to waste time.

23) Have you ever been in a physical fight?
So many it's pretty much unbelievable.

24) Turn ons?
A good listener, honesty, HUMOR!( but I feel like everyone says that) and an ability to cook. Let's face it, if I ever end up living with a guy they're going to have to fend for themselves on the food front. The only thing I can cook is water and sometimes I fail at that.

25) Turn offs?
I can't stand rude people or people who put others down. I honestly don't care if you look like a Greek god, if you can't respect someone enough to keep your horrible opinions to yourself  then that's a really serious issue.

26) The reason you joined the blogging community?
To try out my writing in a different environment and find a style that I liked. I felt like joining the blogging community would give me a voice to say what I wanted and hopefully make people laugh.

27) What are your fears?
Never really succeeding or amounting to anything. I want to make people laugh and smile and just generally brighten up their day. I'd hate to go through life not being able to do any of those things.

28) The last movie that made you cry?
The Fault In Out Stars got me balling my eyes out for a while.
Damn you Augustus!!!!

29) Last time you said you loved someone?
Last night.

30) Meaning behind your blog name?
I honestly don't know. I just thought it sounded cool and would look great on a coffee mug

31) Last book you read?
My 1992 diary by Dawn Luebbe.
The book was initially a blog, which is so cool.

32) The book you're currently reading?
Is everyone hanging out without me by Mindy Kaling.

33) The last show you watched?
Storage Hunters.

34) Last person you talked to?
My dad.

35) The relationship between you and the last person you texted?
Fellow member of the Purple Ostrich Union.

36) What is you're favorite food?
Quail eggs and caviar. It's not. I think it has to be brownies.

37) Place you want to visit?
Canada, La, New York, Paris, Germany, Japan. Everywhere basically.

38) Last place you were?
In the kitchen looking for food in the fridge.

39) Do you have a crush?
 Other than celebrities, I'd say possibly, or it could just be an obsession with their height. I can't really make the distinction.

40) Last time you kissed someone?
I'm more into hugs than kisses (but saying that I find hugs very awkward.) The last time I hugged someone was my mum. ( I posted this then realised 'mum' isn't a measurement of time, what I meant to say was today.)

41) Last time you were insulted?
I can't remember it specifically but It was probably about a day or two ago. I resisted the urge to say about a week ago even though I honestly wanted to.

42) Favorite flavour or sweet?
I like anything that tastes of watermelon or grape.

43) What instrument do you play?
A tiny bit of guitar but I think my ability is slowly deteriorating as I haven't played it in more than a year.

44) Favorite piece of jewellery?
I don't really wear jewellery.

45) The last sport you played?
Javelin. I suck at it.

46) Last song you sang?
A horrible rendition of Pumped Up Kicks, accompanied by various terrible dance moves and the occasional mumble.

47) Favourite pick up line?
Is your name sugar? Because my mum said sugar's bad for your teeth.

48) Have you ever used it?
Not even once in my lifetime.

49) Last time you hung out with anyone?
If a 4 year old counts, then it was 2 weeks ago on Saturday and I'm pretty sure she's planning to kill me.

50) Who should answer these questions next?

adios ardillas ex√≥ticas.
( Which translates to - goodbye exotic squirrels.)

Monday, 20 July 2015

Everybody Hates M.A.C And Other Internet Trends

A journey into the depths of the web.

With the invention of the world wide web in  the 1990's, a new world of possibilities had been presented. The decade of brightly colored bicycle shorts, neon windbreakers and overalls would be met with a new form of obsession- the internet fad.

From the extremes of the Kylie Jenner lip challenge to the charitable brilliance of the ALS Ice bucket challenge, the internet has provided us with a plethora of fascinating trends. It can not be disputed that these trends have caused wide spread controversy and an overall buzz throughout their life span, with many trends leaving a long lasting impact upon the web.

1) The Cinnamon Challenge
The objective of the challenge is to swallow a spoonful of ground cinnamon in 60 seconds without drinking anything. Although the challenge itself sound rather simple it can be dangerous, causing things such as throat irritation and breathing difficulties. 
Glozell, in this video, demonstrates exactly how you must not carry out this challenge.

2) ALS Ice Bucket Challenge
The challenge urges participants (nominated) to have a bucket of water poured on their heads in order promote awareness of  amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) and motivate people to make donations towards research.

3) M.A.C Experience
With each video detailing the experience of a M.A.C customer, it seems as if M.A.C may have a serious issue with its customer service.

Disclaimer- This video does contain swear words.

4) Back to school haul/ what's in my school bag?
A journey into the bags of (primarily) American teens. The peak of this annual trend often occurs a few weeks prior to the beginning of the school season. 

5) #Dressgate
The dress A.K.A #Dressgate was a viral phenomenon that appeared on the web earlier this year in February. After the picture surfaced on tumblr it sparked a wide spread debate. What color was the dress exactly? One side claimed it was white and gold, others insisted it was black and blue and some speculated that the dress was in fact neither. Such as the likes of Nate Silver, who claimed the dress was cyan and magenta.(Jokingly I'm presuming.) Thee dress was later revealed to be black and blue.
What did you think?

6) Kylie Jenner Lip challenge
Plump limps might not be exactly what they appear to be.

This challenge can cause serious damage to the blood vessels in your lips and is not recommended to be carried out. Luckily,we can always rely on Miranda sings to teach us how one must accurately carry it out the safe way- Photoshop.

7) The whip/ nae nae
A dance craze that everyone tries to deny enjoying, but secretly loves.

Ooh kill 'em oooooh!!!

Those were 7 internet trends since the dawn of the internet.
  Make sure to comment below some other trends that I haven't already included in this post.

Sunday, 12 July 2015

A Poetic Analysis Of (Almost) Everything

In case you hoped this contained various in depth poetic analyses, I must disclaim that it does not. However it does contain 6 totally unnecessary evaluations of  common words and phrases that don't actually need to be evaluated.

Imagine if we analysed every situation like we do poems. The simplest of words would probably result in an in depth search of deeper connotations, tones, and imagery.

 Having spent the last couple weeks analysing poem after poem in English class, I've come to the conclusion that: A- whoever came up with semantic fields hated school children and B-phantasmagorical is a totally stupid word and should not exist. 

I've read through the works of Owen, Tennyson, Simic and Armitage, which Yeah, let's go with that. But it's got me thinking of two things: 1-what the heck possesses us to waste endless hours trying to deduce the meanings of middle aged men? and 2- I wonder how chia seeds taste. (Although, that has no relevance to poems whatsoever.) I'd always thought that a poet's greatest intention was just to be heard, but it turns out that they live their lives waiting anxiously to produce something worth utilizing by thirteen year old students in English lessons. They do in fact intend to send their writing out into the world to be torn apart and stripped of meaning and metaphors and similes.

So in the honor of every English lesson since the start of this new academic year, I present- A poetic analysis of almost everything.

"Can you take my book to the front?" - The word front could suggest that there's a progression occurring. The word book in conjunction with this word presents another meaning to this, perhaps it is not only physical progression but a deeper more emotional one.  The word 'book' could symbolize a story, a story within the person. There may be a certain discomfort with his/hers current position, which could explain why they would want to move forward.
But in reality all this guy wanted was for me to pass his stupid maths book to the front of the class.

"Hello"- The repetition of the letter 'l' could represent the roman numeral II. This means this word could have a dual meaning. Perhaps a light and dark side or maybe a more open or reserved side when you think about the use of e and o.
Or it could just mean hello.

Breakfast- The word break suggests a halt, in use with the word fast perhaps this suggests that this is a pause of fasting. Therefore the allowance of food.
Breakfast is just breakfast, no explanation needed.

How r u- The inability to use full words suggests that this person was in a rush or maybe just hella lazy. The absence of a question mark may mean that this is not in fact a question but a failed attempt at a statement.

Bread- The softness of this delicacy could imitate that of the emotion it wishes to convey. Bread holds a certain calmness and fragility to its name, urging the consumer to replicate those exact feelings.

Water-The clarity that its physical appearance possesses gives the feel of innocence and ease. Its clarity although prominent could hide a level of complexity beneath.

 You know what? I think I might just stick to analysing poems. 

Sunday, 5 July 2015


British weather is highly deceptive 
A post in which I complete a tag and complain about British weather.

It doesn't feel like summer.
Although according to the seasons and google it's meant to be. It's sunny and hot that's for definite but it just doesn't feel like summer. It doesn't taste like strawberry Popsicle and ice cold lemonade. It doesn't feel like tie dye t-shirts and denim shorts or sun tan lotion and sea salt. It doesn't smell like ocean waves and Hollister body spray or embody the beach vibes like loose beach curls and extortionately priced vanilla ice creams do. It just doesn't feel like summer to me.

Like a T-Rex at the zoo or an Eskimo in Hawaii, summer is foreign to me. The whole concept of sunshine and anything other than aggressive gale force winds is totally incomprehensible. Okay so maybe that's a slight exaggeration,but you get the point.

With that said here are my answers to the teen summer tag. Which is quite ironic considering I've just said it doesn't feel like summer. Hahahah, well this is awkward.

1) Is it summer where you live?
Umm. Define what you mean by summer. Summer as in sun bathing ostriches or a confusing mix between extreme heat and intense rainfall? 

2) What is your favorite part of the summer time?
Sitting in English class for what seems like an eternity, slowly roasting to death whilst I attempt to write a paragraph on the authors use of metaphors to create a vivid sense of imagery.

3)Do you have any summer traditions?
Sitting in English class and roasting to death whilst I attempt to write a paragraph on the authors use of metaphors to create a vivid sense of imagery. Shout out to Alfred Tennyson, my boooooooy!!!!

4) Name your number one song.


if ever in a awkward situation where you've accidentally waved to a stranger, a nae nae could be your savior.

5)What is your most memorable memory of the summer, ever?
 I could tell you it was the summer I spent bonding with my family...or I could say Ice cream.  And I really do love ice cream.

6)One blog you currently can't get enough of!

7) Give your top blogging tip, even if you're a newbie. What do you want people to know?
Turtles can be violent little things, do not approach them with peanut butter. Nah I'm just kidding (but seriously take the advice) my real tip would be to just have fun with it. Be stupid. Be crazy. Be anything. 

8) If you could travel anywhere this summer, where would it be and why?
Neverland, I've heard they have great food there.

9)What is your favorite accessory to wear in the warm weather?
My school uniform. It's just got that summer couture vibe, you know? Nothing says I'm ready for summer than an almost all black uniform and extremely heavy school bag.

10) Set one goal to challenge yourself this summer. 

I've got to start reading.

So whom do I tag?
Every single sapien reading this. Which means you.
I hope you enjoyed the tag ya'll.