Monday, 29 June 2015

Neverland

Let's venture out to never land,
 where lies forgotten words.
Let's find the tales of misfit books previously unheard.

(Ruth B- check her out)

Let's dance at sunset,
or under the moonlight skies,
beneath the branches that lay on the greener side:
for we have all the time in the world.


Run with me to an everlasting dream,
that only we can find.
Pinky promise and cross your heart,
that here we'll live our lives.
And if your'e hurt I'll carry you aboard my sunset wings,
 there's a chance that we many fall,
but at least it's you and me.



Sometimes I live in dreams, so do not fret if it ever seems like you can never reach me.

It's hard to believe this is my hundredth post, it's been so amazing being able to blog these last couple of months. Thank you guys for sticking around.

Wednesday, 24 June 2015

I don't know where this is going

The one in which I don't know where I'm going with it.

Take me to San Francisco, Brooklyn or japan.
Fly me over paradise,
where oceans lie by sand.
We'll tiptoe along the boulevards
and dance on silver streets,
act like total experts
on a place we've never been.

My urge to travel is almost completely overshadowed by my growing fear of being attacked by a swarm of violent Angora rabbits. Above that fear stands one far greater- High school.

Over dramatized description of high school coming to you in 3...2...1

School is like a never ending fall into a deep dark abyss, or the gradual consumption of a flaming hot Trinidad moruga scorpion pepper. It's like drowning in quick sand or being mauled by a bear in the middle of a hot and vibrant summer. It's bad but it's not the worst thing in the world. There are worse things than school: like the idea of mutant ice cream cones plaguing the streets or the engineering of giant 7 foot squirrels.

I do however feel like a massive jerk for writing that, as I fully acknowledge that so many people would kill to go to school. But my issue isn't about the work, or the teachers, or the tests. ( Even though I die a little each time when the teacher announces a test.) It's more about the environment and the utter lack of respect and understanding of personal space. It's infuriating to say the least.
And before I forget- To everyone in my maths class who insists on being annoying, ooooh you best get your act together. I will rebuke you child!!

But school aside, may we just take a second to appreciate this video...



and this one...


(Why is this guy so good?)

and this one.
At 37 seconds though-Boy why is you sliding along the floor?

Well ya'll that's it. It seems like I'm suffering from a bad case of writers block so excuse the shortness of this post and the fact that I haven't posted in a week. I Hope you're having a great summer and if you live in England like me, then I think you can agree that calling this summer would be pushing it. So instead, I hope you have a great moderately cold day.

I'm out.

Wednesday, 17 June 2015

The Girfiest of them all - I'm 50% sarcasm, 25% sincere (probably)

A post in which I apologize to people who probably don't even care and demonstrate my inability to use percentages accurately in my titles. Now begins the second post in my GIRF series. GIRF being a random word I've made up to refer to a direct reference to someone  in the form of a note.

My apologies...

To the gym teacher that tried to help me do a cart wheel and got a full on lecture on how gymnastics isn't my strong point. But hey, at least you know now.

To that attractive guy for staring.

To my friends for constantly embarrassing you in the corridors.

To my science teacher. No matter how much you try to make physics fun, I just wont enjoy the subject.

To the squirrel I saw on the way to school, for totally freaking out over you. Squirrels be warned.

To the people in my class who have to put up with my over dramatic facial expressions.

To my English teacher, for my constant doubting the names of literal devices.

To the child I pushed past today... actually you know what? Forget my apology, that's your fault. There's a 6 mph minimum in those corridors and you weren't even reaching two.

To the guy who decided he'd jokingly punch me in the arm without my consent, for wishing that you suffer a slow and painful slap to the face doled out by a ostrich. I hate you and this isn't even an apology. It's just my way of telling you how much I despise you fool.

To the P.E class across the field, for the sheer fact that you had to bear your eyes upon my sub-optimal dance moves.

To the P.E teacher who attempted to teach me how to jump a hurdle. It's not your fault. Just let it be.

To my friends, for always having to listen to my horrible remixes to songs.

To future me, for being unable to keep anything to myself. It'll probably bite you in the butt sometime soon.

To everyone I've ever hated unnecessarily, it's probably been for a totally irrational reason.

To anyone I've actively ignored, I'm sorry but you need to shut up.

To that one guy, for that not so nice comment I might have said about you. Don't get me wrong, your annoying and all but I apologize for my comment about your height (even though you're probably only like 10cm shorter than me.)

To Dylan O'Brien, for obsessing over you like a total creep.

To the girl in my sociology class, I'm not sorry for anything whatsoever. GET A RULER!!. What's mine isn't yours. That ribbon isn't yours. That boundary of personal space doesn't belong to you. My chair doesn't belong to you and the frigging desk does not belong to you. I am not google and I will ignore you. If you start chewing again in class with those obnoxious jaw movements of yours; I will not hesitate to glue your mouth shut. The next time you touch my bag or use my chair as some sort of messed up support system for your daily chair swinging: I will actually scream at you and swat your hand away like some sort of enraged ninja. Stop please. My name is not 'You girl' and if you want to ask me a question then  learn to address me by my actual name. That's unless your down for me referring to you as 'The annoyance'. Try me. And for turtles sake, can't I be moved to another sociology class. There are 34 beings packed into one cramped classroom. Either someone has to go or things are going to start getting real, very fast. That is all.

Check out the first post in the GIRF series.

I'm out.

Sunday, 14 June 2015

Because I'm a hypocrite





I'm a complete and utter hypocrite. I do not intend to sugar coat it or shine any sort of glorified light upon this fact. 
I'm a hypocrite.

In the hypothetical scenario that we should ever meet and I begin bombarding you with a plethora of motivational quotes; do not listen to me. I probably don't know what I'm on about and I may or may not just be quoting Dora. 

I'll tell you to follow your dreams and be whoever you want to be. I'll tell you to loose yourself in whatever you feel passionate about. I'll tell you to forget about the world and the people who want to hurt you. I'll tell you not to worry about them, they shouldn't have an affect on you. I'll go on about the value of life and how you should treasure it. I'll assure you that you're amazing and that you'll be the next Beyonce of the world. 

I'll make sure that you understand how important it is to make a difference in this world. I'll nag at you constantly about trying your hardest. I'll tell you not to say rude things and to stop judging people. I'll tell you to stop swearing or believing in stereotypes. I'll tell you to not be afraid. I'll encourage you to trust in people. I'll go on about how you can never truly love someone unless you love yourself. I'll insist that if you fake confidence enough you'll become confident. I'll tell you that it's ok to cry sometimes and get angry at nothing. I'll tell you to believe that the present holds something greater than what you see on the surface. I'll tell you that you shouldn't conform to any expectations you think that you have to conform to. I'll tell you that you shouldn't care about your looks either and I'll constantly preach about it...because I'm a hypocrite.

It's easier to say things than do them. It's easier to tell people to do what you know is right, than do it yourself.
I am a hypocrite, there's not much to it.

Tuesday, 9 June 2015

The Dictionary Of Me

Hello beautiful human beings. How's life?
The new school year started only yesterday, which means a new year of having no one understand a word I say. It's understandable really, I say random stuff frequently and it tends to come out in a jumbled up mess. Most of these words don't even exist and I know a lot of people don't understand me ( if you're one of these people, open up a word document now and prepare to take notes). So here is a list of 7 totally fake and ridiculous words that I use on a daily basis. Oxford Dictionary ain't got nothing on me bro!!!

1)Wua? ( pronounced wha)
Used to convey confusion. E.g-  "Wua? I don't understand" or "Wait wua you took the last cookie?"

2) Natoday ( pronounced not today)
Used to show disapproval and the unwillingness to do something.  For example- In response to handing out the books, Susie yelled "Natoday miss, Natoday."

3) Howuduwain?
Often accompanied by this move.

starcasm.net
This one's pretty self explanatory. How you doing?

4)Relle?
Pronounce exactly like its spelling. It's a word used to question someones intellect in a stupid moment or to show total disbelief. E.g. Roger told Susie he was stupid and in response she yelled "Relle? says the guy who thought 9 plus ten was windowsill."

Just a slight interruption- Who the hell is this Susie girl I keep mentioning? I've got to come up with some better names. Dequangela sounds good right?

5) Arghhhhh
 This one is more of a sound than a word. I imagine it sounds kind of like a distressed Chewbacca and this dude mixed together.

It's used for those moments when you just can't. 
Yeah, I've used this video once already. Come at me!!! Seriously though, it never gets old.

6) Lemebe (le-me-be)
 Used when you want someone to leave you alone or get off your back. Often used in conjunction with arghhhhhhhhhhh.
E.g. Arghhhhhh leemebe Dequangela, gosh you're so strict.

7) Fudge muffins
 I don't actually use it, I just thought it sounded cool.

galleryhip.com
Those are some of the many words I've included in my vocabulary. Comment some words that you think should be actual words found in dictionaries.
I'm out.

Thursday, 4 June 2015

We're All Just A Little Bit Nuts


You're not normal.
Tell me if you thought that was an insult?
I'm presuming you probably thought it was but the thing is...well.. you're not normal. You're extraordinary. You're brilliant. You're undefinable, unable to be summed up accurately by words. You are you, so why would you want to be normal? Normal simply fails to embody who you are because you're not. 

That's the thing. You're not. If you thought you were then define what you think normal is ( do not check google). I hear on a daily basis people telling each other to be normal and I honestly feel like approaching them with a bucket full of peanut butter and just smothering it all over their faces. Unless their allergic to peanuts because that would be totally uncalled for and rude. I'm strange not a tyrant.

The truth is we're all just a little bit nuts. You're slightly nuts and I am too. That girl across the street is, that business man who looks like he's got his act together definitely is, that mongoose certainly is and that little old lady talking to her army of feline friends just might be on the borderline of insanity. But the point is we're all nuts.

We get angry.
We cry a lot.
We obsess over celebrities.
We dream way too much.
We hide our emotions.
We think too much.
We make weird sounds that may replicate that of Chewbacca. 
We dance a lot.
We eat way too much sugar.
We actively avoid people in supermarkets and hide behind granola boxes.
We say weird stuff.
We may talk too much.
We try too hard.
We feel pressure to do things when we shouldn't.
We write crazy stories.
We draw random things.
We sing out of tune and at the top of our lungs.
We feel left out some times.
We're complicated.
We're undefinable.
We're not normal.
We're all just a little bit nuts.

That's completely and utterly ok.

I'm not saying you can't be normal (whatever that is). I just don't think it does you any justice. The next time someone tries to tell you to be normal and you don't want to be: you walk right up to their face, you stare at them and then you creepily walk away murmuring something resembling that of a witches spell. Wait what? Let's try that again.
You walk up to them, stare them right in the eye, ask them to define what normal really is and you wait for an answer. Then you walk away creepily murmuring something resembling that of a witches spell.

I'm going to be as complex as I want to be. Who is with me?

This became something of a weirdly inspirational post but as Doris Day once said, "Whatever will be will be." 

Comment 'We're all just a little bit nuts' in the comments section if you agree with it.

I'm out.