This includes but is not limited to conversations with:Sometimes you just don't want to hold a conversation.The chit chats mind numbingly boring and you're struggling to keep your eyes open at the words of an unengaging being. If you've ever been stuck in a situation where it feels like there's no escape from this hell, be assured that you'll face it no more friend. Now commences 'Ways To End A Phone Conversation'. Read at your own risk.
1) Speak gibberish.Confuffle ( not an actual word) their brains with a mass of made up words. I do it all the time.
2) Start yelling very nice compliments really aggressively to confuse them.YOUR VOICE SOUNDS REALLY NICE!!! LAURA'S A PRETTY NAME!!!
3) Start a conversation and ask about their day.
Completely dismiss the subject at hand and proceed to question them on the goings-on of their life?
4) Pick up the phone and say nothing.
Nothing says I don't want to talk to you more than pure and utter silence.
5) Act really creepy and talk in a deep breathy voice.
If you can accurately imitate the voice of Liam Neeson in this scene, you'll be guaranteed an abrupt end to your conversation.
An alternative to number 5 is to learn the words from this scene and whisper it down the phone.
6) Tattle on them.
In the most petulant voice you can do, scream "I'm telling my mom on you" and squeal. Even if you're 91 and living with cats, this is still effective.
7) Put your cat on the phone.
Nothings creepier than an unexpected meow.
8) Yell things like:
-I'm on to you!!!
-I'M NO FOOL SON!
-I hate fish cakes!
-Ain't nobody got time for this!
Or continuously repeat these 5 phrases in the most sinister voice you can summon.
9) Ask them really personal questions about their life.
Their age, gender( you can probably infer this already, which is why they won't see the question coming) surname, mothers maiden name, fathers first name. If they've ever had any pets in their lifetime. How many calories they consume in a day. Just a general overview.
10) Recite a sonnet from Shakespeare.
Because lets be honest here, who actually understands this:
Farewell! thou art too dear for my possessing,
And like enough thou know'st thy estimate,
The charter of thy worth gives thee releasing;
My bonds in thee are all determinate.
For how do I hold thee but by thy granting?
-I recommend sonnet 87 for it's effectiveness.
11) Act out a scene from a Shakespearean play.
Just like the sonnet, it's equally as baffling.
12) Pretend your a witch and start conjuring spells.
Induce fear in the babbling conversationalist who sits and waits for your input somewhere down the line. Frighten them with your horrid cackles and fearful words.
And if all fails, play this as loud as you can near the phone.
Or maybe just read them this post, they'll be sure to get the message.
So that's how you do it. If you have any other ways that I haven't mentioned, comment them down below. I hope you enjoyed reading this and if you do try any of these out make sure to tell me what you think.