Alternatively titled- The time I ruined your childhood and things to tell a child to make them despise you forever.
"The illusion's shattered but I'll smile nevertheless, for the things my childhood provided, I will never forget.- me
The day when you finally realize that...
*The moon isn't made of cheese
*The tooth fairy is totally conning you and paying you considerably less for your teeth.
*The monsters under your bed don't really exist
*Santa is just some random dude who dresses in red, eats way too many mince pies, probably needs to shave but has a heart of gold and a gift for giving.
*Toddler gobbledygook (ok stop, so word check classifies gobbledygook a as an actual word but apparently my last name is in some sort of alien language. Really ?) can't be translated and you start to wonder how 3 year olds seem to understand each other. Do you think they're teaming up against us, the babies? With their confusing codes and gibberish language?
*All those times you were promised ice cream if you ate your veg, was just a ruthless ploy to get you to eat the stupid green stuff. ( not that I'm holding a grudge *laughs awkwardly and stabs the broccoli on her plate*)
*Becoming a rainbow unicorn princess isn't actually an occupation.
*Peter pan isn't really young forever and he's just really short, uses anti ageing cream, stays fit and has a team of plastic surgeons on hand at all times.
*Nursery rhymes aren't lyrical pieces of gold and you begin to query why they fed you these songs as a child.( Can we start a trend to revamp these rhymes. You know, get Sia or some cool hip song writer to create some new sick rhymes) I can't believe I just used the word sick.
*This show needs bringing back
...is the time when you can fully appreciate how fun it was to be young .