When I was younger I had this obsession. I was in love with the stars. Shooting stars specifically. The possibility that you could wish upon a star and have your dreams come true amazed me. I didn't care what anyone said about them. To me they provided a solution for all the issues I saw problematic as a child. I felt like I had an advantage; I believed in something I felt no one did. I decided that the first thing I'd wish for if I ever saw a shooting star would be 3 more wishes. I made dozens of lists, attempting to choose which 3 things I wanted to choose.The reason I chose 3 was because I thought wishing for 4 seemed greedy.I waited in anticipation for the arrival of a shooting star. Hours were spent researching when a shooting star was expected. Every night I would wake up, draw back the curtains and stare at the sky. I suppose that's how I came up with my blog title.
When I'd wake up I would pull out my lists,revising them and praying that I would be able to recite them correctly if a shooting star happened to pass by. I believed in the magic of believing. The brilliance that something possessed when you showed faith in it. But I've grown to fear the dark and I think I'm loosing belief in shooting stars. And at the risk of sounding rather childish. It sucks. I had always thought that I was a part of the stars. I was one of them. My name meaning star, I was taught to understand and appreciate the importance of my name. I was a star and as an 6 year old I took it literally.
So for years I was a star. One of many , side by side with the moon. I liked it. I loved feeling like I had such such significance. And now I'm 13, maybe a tad naive but in my eyes quite understanding of the world. It's not what 6 year old me had thought. The world, I believe still has magic, It's just not as prominent my eyes. But I'm still waiting on that shooting star. I'm still waiting to claim my place beside the moon. I'm still trying to believe in something more than just reality. Something beyond what society says we should believe. I wish we all did too.
I hope you enjoyed reading this- Stella :)