Friday, 30 January 2015

If you should ever encounter me... ( Fiction Friday)


Side effects
There's a few things this you must know if you are ever to encounter me.
1.My name is Lola.
2. I'm 99.9 percent sure I'm insane. 
3.I should not be held accountable for anything I do in a social situation. 
4. You're guaranteed an awkward silence. 
5. I will forever avoid your gaze. 
6. Our possible conversation will only consist of incoherent gibberish. 
7. You will be embarrassed by me. 

   And if by some peculiar reason you manage to survive this encounter it's probably because you’re: 
A. My parents, and over the 13 years I have lived on Earth,you've learnt to accept my weirdness. 
B. You're an inanimate object. 
C. And then there's a slight chance your an alien from planet Zedexfa and you know nothing about human interaction. 

For those of whom will not successfully make it through this encounter,I must warn you of some side effects. There are a few, so umm you might want to jot these down.
These include but are not limited to: severe recollections of our meet up, constant cringe attacks, perpetual embarrassment, social suicide, clumsiness the fear of humans, the inability to create actual sentences, obsessing over unicorns, random outbursts of made up words, speaking to yourself, the loss of hand to eye coordination,  the ability to do sports, strange impulses to hug trees, the fear of really small animals and biscuits.    

 But I pray that you don't fear these effects, as the chances are that you will never meet me. Unless you're a really determined spy or some sort of creep addicted to tracking down teens. I hope you are neither of these, for both your safety and mine. But if you do end up meeting me, there's just one thing you might really want to know.   I can teach you how to fail at being human.  

Check out Arushee's post, where I first learn't about fiction Friday.


  




19 comments:

  1. hahaha This is amazing XD
    Who told you about Zedexfa D:
    It was supposed to be hidden from humans >.<"

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    1. Thank you. I overheard some unicorns on my way to school talk about Zedexfa,I hid in the bushes and heard the whole conversation. hahahaha.

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    2. OHH..you're evil aren't you :P
      Those unicorns need to be captured as soon as possible XD

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    3. I can't keep a straight face replying to your comment, my mum thinks I'm insane lol. I agree though,we must capture these unicorns.

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    4. hahaha XD
      Those unicorn better be aware now :D
      how big a net should we use to capture them?

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    5. I'm not sure. I searched Ikea but couldn't find any. I think Ebay has some good bargains on nets. All I know is we'll need a big net and we'll have to be fast, these unicorns are quick.

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    6. What will we do with them though?
      Do you think they know the way to Hogwarts?
      Or if they really know anything wise?

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    7. I can't, this is way too funny. I suppose we could make them our pets and offer them good pay if they co-operate, but then how do you pay a unicorn. If they do try to go to Hogwarts we'll just call Harry and get him on our side. I don't think they're very wise, they talked about Zedexfa when they were forbidden to.

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    8. How about ice-cream everyone loves ice-cream? we can pay them in that..no let's call Hagrid he'd help us with the unicrons as well..when I think about it yes they're kind of stupid going on about Zedexfa when they were not supposed to.

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    9. Ice cream is a definite yes for a payment method unless they're lactose intolerant, then we should pay them in sweets. We could call Hagrid, I think that's an idea. If only I had his number.

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    10. Let's just let them be then they're too hard to deal with

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    11. I suppose that would be the best. I find it funny we've had such a lengthy conversation on how to capture unicorns. This was hilarious.

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  2. Ooh, I loved this so much! You're a great writer. :)
    (And thank you for linking me!)

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    1. Thank you and your welcome, your writing is always brilliant.

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  3. I like weird people, no fun being boring. You sound like my type of friend :)
    Keep having fun Lola :P

    Meme xx

    New post out now on my blog 'Waterstones Mini Haul'

    http://thedayinthelifeofmexoxo.blogspot.co.uk/

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    1. Normal is just so overrated :P Thank you.

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  4. lactose intolerant unicorns, lol

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    1. Who knows, maybe every unicorn is lactose intolerant :P

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