Friday, 15 September 2017

The Things I Wanted To Tell You While I Was Drowning.

1. I was afraid of the dark.
How the night stirred 
the parts of me my mother could not
lay to rest.

2. How the winter I realised the world would not stop 
spinning even if we did,
I thought how best we could seek refuge
when everything we knew was burning, 
but no one else could see
the flames.

3. I was afraid of the water.
How a wash away girl will
find that tears do 
not heal in a flooded house.

4. I was afraid of living.
How existing parades itself 
too easily as purpose in the day,
but will haunt your nights like a spectre.

5. I was going to fix the broken boy.
Piece together the parts of him
his mother could not lay to rest
and tell him how similar 
we look when glue dries.

6. I was not afraid of dying.
But how I tried
to fear the breakers
knowing I would not leave footprints 
in this tempest,
and could not trouble the earth
enough to worry.

7. I feared God was dying.
How the waves did not take
though I had preached sermons 
to the lost city
and the living had fed.

8. I was afraid of failing.
How failing can pass for defeat
in an unlit room,
but never quite give
fully to the illusion.

9.I was afraid of failing.
Or how a burning building can whisper 
secrets to you when you're listening 
for the silence. 
But when you are listening for
the sirens,
you will not hear it.

10. I was afraid of failing.

11. I was afraid of failing.

12. I was afraid of failing.

13. I was afraid of failing.
But I do not think you would have listened.

Tuesday, 5 September 2017

That's Not Poetry: Exploring Who Defines Poetry and Why It's Extremely Hard To

By definition, poetry is described as 'literary work in which the expression of feelings and ideas is given intensity by the use of distinctive style and rhythm; poems collectively or as a genre of literature.'

So, when discussing whether a poem can actually be called a poem, what a consumer must recognize is the breadth of the definition itself. As it is so broad, this allows for an incredibly expansive array of forms, styles, and genres that are consistently adapting to the period they exist in. And because there is no strict definition as to what a poem must include for it to qualify as a work of poetry, it is incredibly hard to conclude whether a poem is a poem or not. The beauty in that, however, is the large debate that can be had when critiquing a poem. There now exists a new generation of poets exhibiting their works through platforms such as Instagram, YouTube, and Tumblr. This is great for not only the modern consumer, but also creators as it provides both exposure and business opportunities. However, in sharing works online, poets also amass a lot of criticism in regards to their content, style, and even in some cases, if they can actually call their work poetry.

Instapoets such as Rupi Kaur, generate large debate about whether their works qualify as poetry. But here's the thing: the definition of poetry is entirely subjective. With how broad it is, the term remains incredibly inclusive of  many works. In fact, essentially anything can be poetry if it elicits an emotional response. For example, a poem containing only 6 words can be enough to generate an emotional response in one person, but perhaps not be enough to do so in another person. That other person is allowed to believe whatever they've read is not poetry, but have no right to discredit someone else who believes that it is. The same way I can read a novel and deem it to be the worst thing in existence, but have someone else read it and believe it to be the best thing they've ever read. I, as a consumer, have a right to disagree with them, but I have no right to discredit their beliefs and opinions.

So, what does this mean?
In the grand scheme of things, it just means that there is no one single person who gets to decide whether a poem is a poem or not. It is an entirely subjective conclusion, relative to how a person responds emotionally to a piece of poetry.

Okay then, what do we do about it?
Simply understand and remain conscious of how your response to a poem may clash with someone else's, but how that does not give you the right to devalue their response.

It is important to remember as we go on consuming the written works others produce, that we should try to read diversely. Not only in reference to the genres and forms we read, but in regards to the creators who produce them. This way we become more inclusive and understanding of the world we are surrounded by and the beautiful creatives in it.

What's your opinion?

Monday, 4 September 2017

The Trouble With Rupi Kaur: Why Loving Yourself Does Not Mean Bringing Others Down.

And, perhaps, if you could make yourself bite-size, you too could become just as easily digestible.

she protec
she attac
but most importantly
she clap bac

2017. The year of the fidget spinner, Taylor Swift's beauteous rebirth, Jack Pale (Sorry, Jack ass Paul. Sorry again, Jake Pinhead. Sincerest apologies, I meant Juan Psoriasis.), and most importantly, the long awaited release of Rupi Kaur's second poetry collection. Permission to quake.

Image result for the sun and her flowers
Got dis from here.

In honour of The Sun and Her Flowers, today we take a trip down memory lane into the not so long-forgotten days of Milk and Honey. More specifically to that one glorious poem I like to entitle 'salt and anger'.

Image result for the woman who comes after me rupi
And dis one from here.

Here's my issue: assuming we put aside all the criticism Kaur faces in regards to her poetic style, and that we look solely at the message this poem conveys, it is still blatantly clear that this poem expresses nothing more than the toxic idea that a woman can deem herself superior to another. In fact, what Kaur presents to the reader (in, perhaps, what was intended to be a motivational and uplifting tone, but ultimately coming across in an extremely catty and resentful manner) is the message that if you are ever to part ways with a romantic companion, that it is okay to then resent the person they choose to pursue a relationship with next. A completely ludicrous concept that simply lacks sense, considering that at some point a woman is capable of having been both 'the sad replacement' and the seemingly inimitable goddess Kaur describes in the poem above.

Not only does this poem encourage women to believe that it is okay to compare themselves to other women, and so therefore helps perpetuate this culture of competition among females, it also does so in an extremely negative way. When Kaur uses words and phrases like 'bootleg' and 'sad replacement', her poem no longer becomes one of encouraging female empowerment but rather an anthem for bringing down others. To have a poem that possesses the main message of in order to feel empowered you should compare yourself to another woman and bring them down, only helps support girl on girl hate and does absolutely nothing to rectify it.

Kaur also seems, perhaps unintentionally, to encourage holding onto past feelings and relationships. Throughout the entirety of the poem, Kaur maintains this resentful tone in which it feels like the narrator has not yet let go of their feelings towards the relationship and is still somewhat in love with the man Kaur describes. However, instead of the narrator tackling this in a positive and effective way in order to heal, it seems the narrator takes her feelings out on the woman who comes after her. If this in fact is the case, the poem feels as if it excuses directing hate to another person simply because you have yet to overcome your own feelings. 

The poem also suggests that a way to feel empowered after a relationship is to believe that the man is not over you and is incapable of moving on. Feeling empowered because someone else wants you is not the idea we should be sending out to anyone. Instead we should be spreading the idea that empowerment comes from wanting yourself. To truly love oneself is to do so without comparisons or bringing anyone down. Self love and self empowerment are not achieved by hating another person. If the message we wish to send out to people is that in order to feel good about themselves that they must bring others down, then Juan Psoriasis isn't the only thing we've let screw up 2017. 
There are so many better messages we could be sending out to people. What's stopping us?


Saturday, 15 July 2017


Black marred and grooved.
Paint you portrait on monochrome
framed canvas.
steam meddling black
white home
to revolt
and blast
Death thing

It seems the lady doth change her blog again.

Saturday, 13 May 2017

This Is Us

This is us:
Thick blood in 480p,
Not yet, 
But almost,
In HD; it is
Almost like we
 are living.

We are 720 in dreams, though.
110 TVs in all rooms
But the one with the wide window 
That shows the shopping trolley in the middle of the street. 
And because eyes don't pan like cameras do,
We'll sit and watch for a while in every room but that.

I have my home in my hand.
Twelve rooms and a backyard 
To comfort
The heavy soul when it cries, 'Alone, alone!'
And so tells itself,
I have all these empty rooms to fill the nothingness.

And all these palisades are paper-thin.
In the morning I will fold them
And place each furrowed thing in a safe place. Away
From this 1080p reality,
Stowed in an inbetween state. 

Sunday, 23 October 2016

6 Ridonculous TV Shows That Need To Exist

When there's nothing decent to watch on a Friday afternoon.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good TV, must be in want of new shows. And I am privy to the disappointment such a man shares when faced with the drab selection of lackluster programmes. But gone are the bleak and dreary days of endless and unrewarding channel surfing. Here is the future of entertainment.

1. Juvenile Delinquents: Age 4 and 3/4

A 12 part BBC Two documentary following the lives of ten four year olds as they navigate their way through their first year of incarceration. Follow as they undergo the hardships of a harsh and brutal prison environment with only one sugar free juice box a week. Critically acclaimed for its raw and unrefined portrayal of youth crime, Juvenile Delinquents refuses to tiptoe around the truth. An unprecedented look into the lives of the smallest, most dangerous members of society. Rated five gurgles and two thumbs up by toddlers everywhere.

2. Get Wretched

A one off, two hour special in which Jay-Z and Kanye West compete to turn Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream into a 3 minute chart topper. Following each star over the course of one hectic week in November as they juggle their daily struggles and compete to win the title of Shakespearean G 2k16, learn what it truly means to be a rapper in the 21st century. An awe inspiring, emotional journey of perseverance and will power told through spoken word. Including Drake's brilliant first performance of his brand new song, A Dagger I See Before Me.

3.Promotion Or Die

In which 7 brave thirty-somethings compete strenuously against one another to win the promotion of a lifetime. Who will answer the most phone calls whilst submerged in the middle of a shark infested ocean? 7 ordinary receptionists. One shark infested ocean. A once in a lifetime opportunity. Who will win and who will die? Coming this December. A TLC reality show that puts Big Brother to shame. 

4. The Black Cat Gang

A show following the covert observation of a group of Mafia owned black cats as they roam the streets of New York. A dangerous and breathtaking adventure into the multi-million dollar underground tuna trade and the lives of the most prominent feline gang members. A spectacular programme delving deep into the family dynamics of each black cat member, uncovering the strain of criminal activity on each clowder and cat society as a whole.

5. A Creature Of Habit

A longitudinal televised study following 4 young boys as they make the transition from teens to adults whilst separated from their identical twin counter parts. Watch and take part in this interactive ITV series as they grow and become self reliant members of society. We find out to what extent nurture plays in a person's development. 

6. Bonquisha, and what?

A 10 part satirical comedy, finally putting to bed why you can't touch a black girl's hair.
A 13 year old sarcastic and brave Bonquisha takes on the world, educating others on the dangers of self entitlement, overgrown egos and ignorance. Stripping the world, one episode at a time, of douchecanoes, sensless goats and uneducated swines.

Which of these 6 would you most like to watch?

Sunday, 21 August 2016

Look Mom, I'm So Tumblr!!

Oh what fresh hell is this?!

Most things, in theory, sound like good ideas. As proven by Dragons' Den: A show in which brave and fearless entrepreneurs trek to a BBC studio made to look like the top floor of a run down parking complex and try to persuade 5 multimillionaires all sat perfectly on seemingly extortionate priced leather chairs, made by Shaolin monks no doubt, (because every multimillionaire has their hobbies after a long day of raking in enough profit to buy a small town in Albania plus its inhabitants) to invest thousands in their enterprise. All in the hopes of turning them into highly profitable businesses so they too can one day have the ability to sit on one of the five chairs and have their butts graced by Chinese ox leather.

Each episode shows a smattering of entrepreneurs as they enter the 'den' and pitch their ideas to the 'dragons', all offering a percentage of their business in return for a wholesome investment and the backing of one or more of the five dragons. There's really only one iddy biddy little problemo. You, my friend, must have an extremely profitable and sustainable idea. A lot of these ideas in theory, are pretty good. In real life, ehhh not so much. Which leads me to Saturday morning.

In my ever constant pursuit of becoming one of those uber cute tumblresque girls people are always tweeting about, I learned that there were really only three things I needed to do.

1. Go to the men's section and pick up a grey, long sleeve shirt way too big for my being. Because aesthetic.

2. Learn how to make pancakes.

3. Master the art of the messy yet somehow perfect top knot.

Being the nappy headed, short fro'd cheapskate that I am, I did neither 1 or 3. The pancakes though, seemed almost fool-proof. Almost. So I took myself to the store, scanned the aisles, and left with a bag of pancake/ Yorkshire pudding mix. (Because we can't always have what we want, okay! You got to compromise!) That is in addition to the clotted cream and chocolate chips of course. I know where my loyalties lie, and that is in the isles of sugary creams and confectioneries.

The steps were simple. Simply mix 120 grams of mix with 250ml of water and one egg. SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME HOW I DONE MUCKED THAT UP!!!! Because I did not in fact create pancakes. No, no, no. I had created the physical manifestation of the spirit the pastor had purged out of the woman at the wedding when I was ten. (It's a long story.) I had strong conviction however, that the chocolate chips and the clotted cream would turn that demonmongery that lay before me into something less satanic. I could redeem myself!! With a handful of hope chocolate chips, I prayed and commenced sprinkling. The reaching for the cream, I spooned with ambition, the contents of the tub.

But in the end, I had undoubtedly worsened the situation. I would never be the Tumblr girl I had little belief that I could actually be. So I grabbed the chocolate chips, sat down, and ate the remainder as I watched TV.
The moral of the story here is that pancakes suck. TEAM WAFFLES!!!

Also, currently slaying my entire existence is Greyson Chance. Less commonly known as my salted yam fry.